I love your mum's response. It reminds me of a visit years ago we made to a French vinyard, where it was explained to me that one should not keep wine for a special occasion; that the drinking of the very expensive wine was *the* special occasion... great advice, tbh 🙃😀
Woah, I love that. I have a bottle of red wine that's been sitting on the shelf for months. My fiance doesn't prefer red wine, nor do I really, but I like it enough to drink it with some pasta or steak. I could drink it alone, but I'd rather not. Next time someone comes over that likes red wine, we will drink it and make drinking it a celebration of finally drinking it.
Matt, this is priceless! You are not alone. I enjoyed reading every word and love that it's so spontaneous. It's hard to be spontaneous if you're always planning. I prefer the present to the past or the future. Even when I was young, I hated when people asked me what I wanted to be or do in the future. If you know anything at all about Ayurveda, this is very Vata behavior. We are creative and tend to fly by the seat of our pants. Not very organized. I've written a bit about it on my newsletter if you're interested. And, one last thing. I will never forget where I was when I was reading "Naked" by David Sedaris. I was heaving laughing crying. Your mother's comment was hilarious! Good luck with the writing shed. :)
You replied in kind with a priceless comment. I agree with everything, Barbara. And I did not know about Vata. I will have to check that out. Fling by the seat of our pants may be a weird life, but it's a good one. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. Catch ya later!
My god Matt are we the same person with a slight, ok, well, large gap in the space time continuum? I wonder how many of us are out there and, more importantly I wonder how many of us feel incapable of change. Obviously we are capable of some planning but there does seem to be a genetic predisposition to avoid it. As I am older, of an earlier generation I can tell you that non-planning was once a viable option. Quite long ago, think the late 60's through the 70's my friends and I decided most everything on spur of the moment ideas. Like lets go to Mexico or I'd like to wander up the coast, maybe to Big Sur. One could just go and expect to find camping sights, places to pull off the road, friends floors, random strangers or whatever to facilitate the journey. This just isn't the case anymore. If you fail to make a campsite reservation at least 6 months in advance you won't be camping. But this really isn't to the point. I'm not really sure what the point is. It would probably require some planning to even have a point. Early in my search for understanding about life and Art I encountered Picasso. He found it incomprehensible that a painter might approach their canvas with a plan, a destination in mind of a particular outcome. He, I think, believed absolutely in the power of the subconscious, the unconscious mind. He approached the blank canvas with absolutely no plan or even idea what would result, what would come forth from the canvas, only that something would. Maybe faith is involved, I don't know but something about getting out of our own way is involved here. If we were religious we might think in terms of making ours3lves receptive to "His" word. But we're not so I really don't know. Something just happens.
That "something" is definitely felt, Fred, call it what you will: something, a sense, "him." I love all that you wrote here. It is truly annoying that the non-planners are often routed nowadays. The camping situation is super annoying. How many times (this last weekend) have I wished, "Man, it would have been awesome to go camping tonight," but it's a no-go, because I didn't book the site days in advance, check the weather, etc etc.
Somehow, however -- and this is definitely not the rule -- this worked out for me at one of the busiest outdoor destinations in the world: Yosemite. A friend and I drove to the valley in his van/camper to see what we could find. We got there at night and stopped at Camp 4, a walk-in, first-come-first-serve campsite. The fates smiled upon us. There happened to be one spot in a shared campsite. It was fantastic. First night, some Germans camped with us. We drank Jagermeister around the fire, smoked some hand-rolls, looked at the stars. The second night, a fascinating Israeli couple whom we bonded with over some wine. Sadly, I think we got super lucky. I wouldn't count on this happening twice.
Anyway, thanks for everything you wrote. It's very thought-provoking, especially the Picasso thing, which I didn't know about. It was fun to see you exploring "not knowing" as you were doing it. It's clear the paragraph above was a foray into the unknown, and look at the beautiful places it brought you. Camping. Picasso. Faith. "Something just happens."
Yes, non-planners are like 2nd class citizens, less worthy. In my reading, searching and growing way back in those early days this kind of thinking was constantly reinforced in me, it used to be a natural outgrowth of the whole Zen, be here now, be authentic worldview. Kerouac, Beat poets and Philosophers, Alan Watts, Lao Tzu and the Tao. It seemed everything my hand turned to was seeped in this way of seeing and being in the world. But the world changed. The changes came on with the computers and everything needed to be organized and categorized, standardized tests, more STEM. For much of my adult life liberal arts degree has been looked upon with scorn, little value. It used to bother me but thankfully I don't give it much thought anymore. Having the opportunity to rant and rhapsodize here with you is a saving grace. Your unplanned trip to Yosemite sounds like it was sweet and demonstrates precisely how some things of beauty and joy just happen, couldn't be planned even if you wanted to.
Totally agree, Fred! I hate how orchestrated everything is now, especially since Covid. I don’t want to have to guess what will work for me six months from now. Spontaneity is still a thing, but only in certain circumstances. It’s really a loss.
I’m of the usually unpopular opinion that we choose our behaviors. Even if it’s one we claim to want to change, if we don’t, it’s because we’re getting some other kind of payoff. I used to be a great planner, and having kids made me more so. Now that it’s just me, I seem to have developed a fear of commitment (which I actually think has a lot to do with decision fatigue. I still feel burned out from decades of overwork). Anyway, like someone else said, I love your mom’s response, it made me laugh out loud. Next time, buy those tickets (says the person who routinely does not buy the tickets). I hope you get Italy figured out soon!
Next time I will, Cheryl! And (I think) I agree with your outlook. We can choose and change our behaviors, but it might be hard. You have to shake off the shell of your previous self, but it can be done in time. And about Italy, thanks! I'm super excited. I wonder if I can make it to Umbria. I think I already asked, and you confirmed, but I'm thinking of going somewhere nice and hilly (probably all of Italy is) and that might have a decent biking community (road bike rentals, maybe guides, etc.). Any data on that? I was considering going up to the Dolomites, but I think that might be too far a trek. I'm flying into Rome.
i get it! When I do actually plan something and buy tickets, I am wedded to the future. I think writers are wedded to the past for inspiration, and the present while writing. The future is elusive. writing is putting on foot in front of the other and seeing where it goes. You need to have blank pages ahead, thus no real plans, except the wedding in your case! 🌈❤️loved your post Matt!
I couldn't have said it better, Susan. I laugh when someone like you comes along summarizes my probably-too-long article in a few sentences. I'm glad you can relate. Thanks for your always-thoughtful comments. Have a great week :)
Sometimes there might be a reason for indecision or missing out on an opportunity. In October 1994 I was in London for a conference and we were deciding what to do for the night. Pink Floyd, one of my favourite bands were playing at Earls Court. It was them or a stage show on the West End. The team couldn't decide and it was 50:50. We went to Starlight Express, which was boring. But that night the stand collapsed and almost 100 people were injured. Sometimes indecision might be divine intervention.
Wow. That is crazy, Luigi! Sometimes, it all works out. Thanks for sharing that great anecdote. Those "that could have been us" situations always make you see the world a little differently.
I likely would have brought those tickets, but my general outlook on everything else is similar to yours.
Paths are laid out for us. We pick one and follow it. It may be good or bad, but more will appear. A plan will set expectations that are extremely difficult to achieve, as the natural flow of things will take you off course. Why frustrate yourself :)?
Perfectly put, Banksy. When you make a decision, you obliterate the alternative storyline. Which is fine. It's inevitable. But I'd rather not go around consciously destroying potential paths if I don't have to. Things are more peaceful the way I'm doing it. At least, so far.
Happy to hear from you, my friend. I hope all is well. I don't know where you are in the world, but I'll be in Italy from Nov 20 to Dec 5 if you want to attempt a meet-up.
It requires a change of thinking pattern! It’s going to be tough, Matt, but you can do it 😀. I did. Start with lists and a reminder system. In the old days it was on paper. Today, it’s now upgraded to my iPhone using, Calendar, Notes and Reminders apps. It works because I set dates and the phone reminds me with alarms to get those tasks completed. When several tasks need doing, I choose my least favourite ot most feared first and get those done and out of the way.
Great advice, Roland. In fact, I have started keeping a notebook near my computer to write down a list of to-dos. It's greatly reduced my stress and anxiety when the list gets long. I like your method. I'll try it out. Thank you!
Yes Cheryl, it's as though the word, the concept itself is dying through lack of use, lack of practitioners. Where have all the spontaneous souls gone to, I really miss them. I miss the world where spontaneity was a thing, not the whole thing but A thing. It had its place in the sun, people used the word, did things in such a way. I know part of it is growing older and our lives become predictable, filled with responsibilities, etc. but we still have to leave room for the unbidden, the unexpected. Thanks for sharing some thoughts Cheryl.
I love your mum's response. It reminds me of a visit years ago we made to a French vinyard, where it was explained to me that one should not keep wine for a special occasion; that the drinking of the very expensive wine was *the* special occasion... great advice, tbh 🙃😀
Woah, I love that. I have a bottle of red wine that's been sitting on the shelf for months. My fiance doesn't prefer red wine, nor do I really, but I like it enough to drink it with some pasta or steak. I could drink it alone, but I'd rather not. Next time someone comes over that likes red wine, we will drink it and make drinking it a celebration of finally drinking it.
Thanks for the great comment, Shane.
Matt, this is priceless! You are not alone. I enjoyed reading every word and love that it's so spontaneous. It's hard to be spontaneous if you're always planning. I prefer the present to the past or the future. Even when I was young, I hated when people asked me what I wanted to be or do in the future. If you know anything at all about Ayurveda, this is very Vata behavior. We are creative and tend to fly by the seat of our pants. Not very organized. I've written a bit about it on my newsletter if you're interested. And, one last thing. I will never forget where I was when I was reading "Naked" by David Sedaris. I was heaving laughing crying. Your mother's comment was hilarious! Good luck with the writing shed. :)
You replied in kind with a priceless comment. I agree with everything, Barbara. And I did not know about Vata. I will have to check that out. Fling by the seat of our pants may be a weird life, but it's a good one. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. Catch ya later!
https://barbarasinclair.substack.com/p/well-hello-vata
Perfect! Thank you
I justify not planning things as a way to leave room for spontaneous adventure 😂
Sounds like you and me are alike! No plan = the surprise of the unknown
My god Matt are we the same person with a slight, ok, well, large gap in the space time continuum? I wonder how many of us are out there and, more importantly I wonder how many of us feel incapable of change. Obviously we are capable of some planning but there does seem to be a genetic predisposition to avoid it. As I am older, of an earlier generation I can tell you that non-planning was once a viable option. Quite long ago, think the late 60's through the 70's my friends and I decided most everything on spur of the moment ideas. Like lets go to Mexico or I'd like to wander up the coast, maybe to Big Sur. One could just go and expect to find camping sights, places to pull off the road, friends floors, random strangers or whatever to facilitate the journey. This just isn't the case anymore. If you fail to make a campsite reservation at least 6 months in advance you won't be camping. But this really isn't to the point. I'm not really sure what the point is. It would probably require some planning to even have a point. Early in my search for understanding about life and Art I encountered Picasso. He found it incomprehensible that a painter might approach their canvas with a plan, a destination in mind of a particular outcome. He, I think, believed absolutely in the power of the subconscious, the unconscious mind. He approached the blank canvas with absolutely no plan or even idea what would result, what would come forth from the canvas, only that something would. Maybe faith is involved, I don't know but something about getting out of our own way is involved here. If we were religious we might think in terms of making ours3lves receptive to "His" word. But we're not so I really don't know. Something just happens.
That "something" is definitely felt, Fred, call it what you will: something, a sense, "him." I love all that you wrote here. It is truly annoying that the non-planners are often routed nowadays. The camping situation is super annoying. How many times (this last weekend) have I wished, "Man, it would have been awesome to go camping tonight," but it's a no-go, because I didn't book the site days in advance, check the weather, etc etc.
Somehow, however -- and this is definitely not the rule -- this worked out for me at one of the busiest outdoor destinations in the world: Yosemite. A friend and I drove to the valley in his van/camper to see what we could find. We got there at night and stopped at Camp 4, a walk-in, first-come-first-serve campsite. The fates smiled upon us. There happened to be one spot in a shared campsite. It was fantastic. First night, some Germans camped with us. We drank Jagermeister around the fire, smoked some hand-rolls, looked at the stars. The second night, a fascinating Israeli couple whom we bonded with over some wine. Sadly, I think we got super lucky. I wouldn't count on this happening twice.
Anyway, thanks for everything you wrote. It's very thought-provoking, especially the Picasso thing, which I didn't know about. It was fun to see you exploring "not knowing" as you were doing it. It's clear the paragraph above was a foray into the unknown, and look at the beautiful places it brought you. Camping. Picasso. Faith. "Something just happens."
Yes, non-planners are like 2nd class citizens, less worthy. In my reading, searching and growing way back in those early days this kind of thinking was constantly reinforced in me, it used to be a natural outgrowth of the whole Zen, be here now, be authentic worldview. Kerouac, Beat poets and Philosophers, Alan Watts, Lao Tzu and the Tao. It seemed everything my hand turned to was seeped in this way of seeing and being in the world. But the world changed. The changes came on with the computers and everything needed to be organized and categorized, standardized tests, more STEM. For much of my adult life liberal arts degree has been looked upon with scorn, little value. It used to bother me but thankfully I don't give it much thought anymore. Having the opportunity to rant and rhapsodize here with you is a saving grace. Your unplanned trip to Yosemite sounds like it was sweet and demonstrates precisely how some things of beauty and joy just happen, couldn't be planned even if you wanted to.
Totally agree, Fred! I hate how orchestrated everything is now, especially since Covid. I don’t want to have to guess what will work for me six months from now. Spontaneity is still a thing, but only in certain circumstances. It’s really a loss.
I’m of the usually unpopular opinion that we choose our behaviors. Even if it’s one we claim to want to change, if we don’t, it’s because we’re getting some other kind of payoff. I used to be a great planner, and having kids made me more so. Now that it’s just me, I seem to have developed a fear of commitment (which I actually think has a lot to do with decision fatigue. I still feel burned out from decades of overwork). Anyway, like someone else said, I love your mom’s response, it made me laugh out loud. Next time, buy those tickets (says the person who routinely does not buy the tickets). I hope you get Italy figured out soon!
Next time I will, Cheryl! And (I think) I agree with your outlook. We can choose and change our behaviors, but it might be hard. You have to shake off the shell of your previous self, but it can be done in time. And about Italy, thanks! I'm super excited. I wonder if I can make it to Umbria. I think I already asked, and you confirmed, but I'm thinking of going somewhere nice and hilly (probably all of Italy is) and that might have a decent biking community (road bike rentals, maybe guides, etc.). Any data on that? I was considering going up to the Dolomites, but I think that might be too far a trek. I'm flying into Rome.
Yeah, we can change, but if we don’t there’s a good chance we really don’t want to. Or we want to, but to a lesser degree than we want what’s holding us back. About the cycling, I sent you a link about following Via Francigena. I think this was it: https://italy-cycling-guide.info/international-cycle-routes/via-francigena-eurovelo-5/
But I really know nothing about cycling here, so maybe Google is your best bet.
i get it! When I do actually plan something and buy tickets, I am wedded to the future. I think writers are wedded to the past for inspiration, and the present while writing. The future is elusive. writing is putting on foot in front of the other and seeing where it goes. You need to have blank pages ahead, thus no real plans, except the wedding in your case! 🌈❤️loved your post Matt!
I couldn't have said it better, Susan. I laugh when someone like you comes along summarizes my probably-too-long article in a few sentences. I'm glad you can relate. Thanks for your always-thoughtful comments. Have a great week :)
Sometimes there might be a reason for indecision or missing out on an opportunity. In October 1994 I was in London for a conference and we were deciding what to do for the night. Pink Floyd, one of my favourite bands were playing at Earls Court. It was them or a stage show on the West End. The team couldn't decide and it was 50:50. We went to Starlight Express, which was boring. But that night the stand collapsed and almost 100 people were injured. Sometimes indecision might be divine intervention.
Wow. That is crazy, Luigi! Sometimes, it all works out. Thanks for sharing that great anecdote. Those "that could have been us" situations always make you see the world a little differently.
I likely would have brought those tickets, but my general outlook on everything else is similar to yours.
Paths are laid out for us. We pick one and follow it. It may be good or bad, but more will appear. A plan will set expectations that are extremely difficult to achieve, as the natural flow of things will take you off course. Why frustrate yourself :)?
Perfectly put, Banksy. When you make a decision, you obliterate the alternative storyline. Which is fine. It's inevitable. But I'd rather not go around consciously destroying potential paths if I don't have to. Things are more peaceful the way I'm doing it. At least, so far.
Happy to hear from you, my friend. I hope all is well. I don't know where you are in the world, but I'll be in Italy from Nov 20 to Dec 5 if you want to attempt a meet-up.
Your friend,
Matt
It requires a change of thinking pattern! It’s going to be tough, Matt, but you can do it 😀. I did. Start with lists and a reminder system. In the old days it was on paper. Today, it’s now upgraded to my iPhone using, Calendar, Notes and Reminders apps. It works because I set dates and the phone reminds me with alarms to get those tasks completed. When several tasks need doing, I choose my least favourite ot most feared first and get those done and out of the way.
Give it a go, and let me know how you get on. 👍
Great advice, Roland. In fact, I have started keeping a notebook near my computer to write down a list of to-dos. It's greatly reduced my stress and anxiety when the list gets long. I like your method. I'll try it out. Thank you!
Darn it! I haven't timed things like that well in a while. Out of practice from the passive semi calm of early pandemic...
Yes Cheryl, it's as though the word, the concept itself is dying through lack of use, lack of practitioners. Where have all the spontaneous souls gone to, I really miss them. I miss the world where spontaneity was a thing, not the whole thing but A thing. It had its place in the sun, people used the word, did things in such a way. I know part of it is growing older and our lives become predictable, filled with responsibilities, etc. but we still have to leave room for the unbidden, the unexpected. Thanks for sharing some thoughts Cheryl.
The Dolomites will be snowy now, I think.