I love your mum's response. It reminds me of a visit years ago we made to a French vinyard, where it was explained to me that one should not keep wine for a special occasion; that the drinking of the very expensive wine was *the* special occasion... great advice, tbh 🙃😀
Matt, this is priceless! You are not alone. I enjoyed reading every word and love that it's so spontaneous. It's hard to be spontaneous if you're always planning. I prefer the present to the past or the future. Even when I was young, I hated when people asked me what I wanted to be or do in the future. If you know anything at all about Ayurveda, this is very Vata behavior. We are creative and tend to fly by the seat of our pants. Not very organized. I've written a bit about it on my newsletter if you're interested. And, one last thing. I will never forget where I was when I was reading "Naked" by David Sedaris. I was heaving laughing crying. Your mother's comment was hilarious! Good luck with the writing shed. :)
My god Matt are we the same person with a slight, ok, well, large gap in the space time continuum? I wonder how many of us are out there and, more importantly I wonder how many of us feel incapable of change. Obviously we are capable of some planning but there does seem to be a genetic predisposition to avoid it. As I am older, of an earlier generation I can tell you that non-planning was once a viable option. Quite long ago, think the late 60's through the 70's my friends and I decided most everything on spur of the moment ideas. Like lets go to Mexico or I'd like to wander up the coast, maybe to Big Sur. One could just go and expect to find camping sights, places to pull off the road, friends floors, random strangers or whatever to facilitate the journey. This just isn't the case anymore. If you fail to make a campsite reservation at least 6 months in advance you won't be camping. But this really isn't to the point. I'm not really sure what the point is. It would probably require some planning to even have a point. Early in my search for understanding about life and Art I encountered Picasso. He found it incomprehensible that a painter might approach their canvas with a plan, a destination in mind of a particular outcome. He, I think, believed absolutely in the power of the subconscious, the unconscious mind. He approached the blank canvas with absolutely no plan or even idea what would result, what would come forth from the canvas, only that something would. Maybe faith is involved, I don't know but something about getting out of our own way is involved here. If we were religious we might think in terms of making ours3lves receptive to "His" word. But we're not so I really don't know. Something just happens.
I’m of the usually unpopular opinion that we choose our behaviors. Even if it’s one we claim to want to change, if we don’t, it’s because we’re getting some other kind of payoff. I used to be a great planner, and having kids made me more so. Now that it’s just me, I seem to have developed a fear of commitment (which I actually think has a lot to do with decision fatigue. I still feel burned out from decades of overwork). Anyway, like someone else said, I love your mom’s response, it made me laugh out loud. Next time, buy those tickets (says the person who routinely does not buy the tickets). I hope you get Italy figured out soon!
i get it! When I do actually plan something and buy tickets, I am wedded to the future. I think writers are wedded to the past for inspiration, and the present while writing. The future is elusive. writing is putting on foot in front of the other and seeing where it goes. You need to have blank pages ahead, thus no real plans, except the wedding in your case! 🌈❤️loved your post Matt!
Sometimes there might be a reason for indecision or missing out on an opportunity. In October 1994 I was in London for a conference and we were deciding what to do for the night. Pink Floyd, one of my favourite bands were playing at Earls Court. It was them or a stage show on the West End. The team couldn't decide and it was 50:50. We went to Starlight Express, which was boring. But that night the stand collapsed and almost 100 people were injured. Sometimes indecision might be divine intervention.
I likely would have brought those tickets, but my general outlook on everything else is similar to yours.
Paths are laid out for us. We pick one and follow it. It may be good or bad, but more will appear. A plan will set expectations that are extremely difficult to achieve, as the natural flow of things will take you off course. Why frustrate yourself :)?
It requires a change of thinking pattern! It’s going to be tough, Matt, but you can do it 😀. I did. Start with lists and a reminder system. In the old days it was on paper. Today, it’s now upgraded to my iPhone using, Calendar, Notes and Reminders apps. It works because I set dates and the phone reminds me with alarms to get those tasks completed. When several tasks need doing, I choose my least favourite ot most feared first and get those done and out of the way.
Yes Cheryl, it's as though the word, the concept itself is dying through lack of use, lack of practitioners. Where have all the spontaneous souls gone to, I really miss them. I miss the world where spontaneity was a thing, not the whole thing but A thing. It had its place in the sun, people used the word, did things in such a way. I know part of it is growing older and our lives become predictable, filled with responsibilities, etc. but we still have to leave room for the unbidden, the unexpected. Thanks for sharing some thoughts Cheryl.
I love your mum's response. It reminds me of a visit years ago we made to a French vinyard, where it was explained to me that one should not keep wine for a special occasion; that the drinking of the very expensive wine was *the* special occasion... great advice, tbh 🙃😀
Matt, this is priceless! You are not alone. I enjoyed reading every word and love that it's so spontaneous. It's hard to be spontaneous if you're always planning. I prefer the present to the past or the future. Even when I was young, I hated when people asked me what I wanted to be or do in the future. If you know anything at all about Ayurveda, this is very Vata behavior. We are creative and tend to fly by the seat of our pants. Not very organized. I've written a bit about it on my newsletter if you're interested. And, one last thing. I will never forget where I was when I was reading "Naked" by David Sedaris. I was heaving laughing crying. Your mother's comment was hilarious! Good luck with the writing shed. :)
I justify not planning things as a way to leave room for spontaneous adventure 😂
My god Matt are we the same person with a slight, ok, well, large gap in the space time continuum? I wonder how many of us are out there and, more importantly I wonder how many of us feel incapable of change. Obviously we are capable of some planning but there does seem to be a genetic predisposition to avoid it. As I am older, of an earlier generation I can tell you that non-planning was once a viable option. Quite long ago, think the late 60's through the 70's my friends and I decided most everything on spur of the moment ideas. Like lets go to Mexico or I'd like to wander up the coast, maybe to Big Sur. One could just go and expect to find camping sights, places to pull off the road, friends floors, random strangers or whatever to facilitate the journey. This just isn't the case anymore. If you fail to make a campsite reservation at least 6 months in advance you won't be camping. But this really isn't to the point. I'm not really sure what the point is. It would probably require some planning to even have a point. Early in my search for understanding about life and Art I encountered Picasso. He found it incomprehensible that a painter might approach their canvas with a plan, a destination in mind of a particular outcome. He, I think, believed absolutely in the power of the subconscious, the unconscious mind. He approached the blank canvas with absolutely no plan or even idea what would result, what would come forth from the canvas, only that something would. Maybe faith is involved, I don't know but something about getting out of our own way is involved here. If we were religious we might think in terms of making ours3lves receptive to "His" word. But we're not so I really don't know. Something just happens.
I’m of the usually unpopular opinion that we choose our behaviors. Even if it’s one we claim to want to change, if we don’t, it’s because we’re getting some other kind of payoff. I used to be a great planner, and having kids made me more so. Now that it’s just me, I seem to have developed a fear of commitment (which I actually think has a lot to do with decision fatigue. I still feel burned out from decades of overwork). Anyway, like someone else said, I love your mom’s response, it made me laugh out loud. Next time, buy those tickets (says the person who routinely does not buy the tickets). I hope you get Italy figured out soon!
i get it! When I do actually plan something and buy tickets, I am wedded to the future. I think writers are wedded to the past for inspiration, and the present while writing. The future is elusive. writing is putting on foot in front of the other and seeing where it goes. You need to have blank pages ahead, thus no real plans, except the wedding in your case! 🌈❤️loved your post Matt!
Sometimes there might be a reason for indecision or missing out on an opportunity. In October 1994 I was in London for a conference and we were deciding what to do for the night. Pink Floyd, one of my favourite bands were playing at Earls Court. It was them or a stage show on the West End. The team couldn't decide and it was 50:50. We went to Starlight Express, which was boring. But that night the stand collapsed and almost 100 people were injured. Sometimes indecision might be divine intervention.
I likely would have brought those tickets, but my general outlook on everything else is similar to yours.
Paths are laid out for us. We pick one and follow it. It may be good or bad, but more will appear. A plan will set expectations that are extremely difficult to achieve, as the natural flow of things will take you off course. Why frustrate yourself :)?
It requires a change of thinking pattern! It’s going to be tough, Matt, but you can do it 😀. I did. Start with lists and a reminder system. In the old days it was on paper. Today, it’s now upgraded to my iPhone using, Calendar, Notes and Reminders apps. It works because I set dates and the phone reminds me with alarms to get those tasks completed. When several tasks need doing, I choose my least favourite ot most feared first and get those done and out of the way.
Give it a go, and let me know how you get on. 👍
Darn it! I haven't timed things like that well in a while. Out of practice from the passive semi calm of early pandemic...
Yes Cheryl, it's as though the word, the concept itself is dying through lack of use, lack of practitioners. Where have all the spontaneous souls gone to, I really miss them. I miss the world where spontaneity was a thing, not the whole thing but A thing. It had its place in the sun, people used the word, did things in such a way. I know part of it is growing older and our lives become predictable, filled with responsibilities, etc. but we still have to leave room for the unbidden, the unexpected. Thanks for sharing some thoughts Cheryl.
The Dolomites will be snowy now, I think.